Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
