my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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