We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
