I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
