Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
