his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Is it penis luge time yet?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
