So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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