we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
A+ Viking dick
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
