Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
