I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
