On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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