Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
