so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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