smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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