google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
