she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
