i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
