You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
