hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
