dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
