Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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