She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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