Just fell off a train. Bad.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
How does one acquire holy water?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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