I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
