i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
