My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Randomize
