Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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