lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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