Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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