So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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