i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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