Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
