things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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