Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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