I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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