ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
