He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
