just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
