Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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