either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
