You work out of a Hotel?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
