So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
