dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
