...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
