I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
