Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
this just has baby written all over it
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
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