so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Lo siento on account of my penis...
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
