You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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