Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
