Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
