i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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