he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
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