Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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